If I Only Had Today

This post has been in the making for a while. Just over a week ago, Chad Seely, a dear family friend suddenly and unexpectedly passed away. He was only 45. He and his wife have been stellar examples and teachers for me - I had the wonderful opportunity to have them as my Sunday School teachers for a whole year! They truly lived what they taught and am so grateful for the opportunity I’ve had to know and associate with them.

Chad’s passing affected me more than I expected. My grandpa (Grandpa "Perfect") passed away a little over a year ago, and while it was hard, it was time - he was in a lot of pain and had lived a good life. For the last few years, my family and I realized that our time with him was limited, so we treated our time with him like we knew it might be the last time we saw him, talked to him, and made jokes with him. With my family friend, nobody knew that his time was growing short.

This got me thinking: if I or someone I know pretty well passed away suddenly, what would my biggest regret be? I think it would be the things I never said. Although I'd like to think I express my appreciation pretty often, there are still things I haven't said that I wished I had. Little things like "thank you for calling me that day or for the example you set for so many years".

This has been a bit of a wakeup call - when I think about thanking someone, I automatically think, "no, I have to do it in a pretty card and it has to be PERFECT". With Chad's passing, I am reminded that no one's time on earth is guaranteed and it's better to have a simple text that they actually read than a gorgeous card that is never seen.

In at least one of President Monson's talks, he quoted John Greenleaf Whittier's "Maude Muller",

“For of all sad words of tongue or pen,
The saddest are these: ‘It might have been!’”

President Monson, in his talk, Love - The Essence of the Gospel said, “Usually our love will be shown in our day-to-day interactions one with another. All important will be our ability to recognize someone’s need and then to respond. I have always cherished the sentiment expressed in the short poem:

I have wept in the night

For the shortness of sight

That to somebody’s need made me blind;

But I never have yet

Felt a tinge of regret

For being a little too kind.” (Author unknown)

This was a poignant reminder to me to fully LIVE life and not just let it pass me by. You never know when that moment won't be there anymore. What am I waiting for?! What is holding me back? How do I want to be remembered? If another friend were to pass away, would they know what they meant to me and how they impacted my life?

I took this heart - I thought of my former boss and how grateful I was for her influence and example, so I texted her. This revived a connection and created an opportunity to stay in contact. Lately, if I think about someone, I send them a message, see how they are doing, or thank them for the example they have been (and maybe tell them how much I appreciate seeing cute pictures of their baby...). It's may not be earth-shattering, but thinking about if I only had today has helped me to be more mindful of those around me, especially those I love.

If I Only Had Today by Hillary Weeks

*This song is beautiful with wonderful lyrics (included below) and helped me to develop and process my thoughts for this post.

If I Only Had Today - HILARY WEEKS

It seems like I've watched a million sunsets
And stared at a thousand full moons.
Sometimes it feels like I've been here forever
And sometimes it all feels brand new.


I could never count the heartbeats
From the day I was born until now.
But not a single one goes unnoticed
By Him who breathes life in me somehow.


But if there were no more tomorrows
If I knew that I could not stay.
I know how I'd spend every minute.
If only I had today.


I'd hold you and listen
And I'd let the dishes sit in the sink.
I'd tell you I loved you over and over
And for once I'd just let the phone ring.
Then I'd remind you of forever
And how our love would never change.
If I only had today.


I'd wake up before the sun did
And I'd watch as you quietly sleep.
I'd pray for time to move slowly
Knowing the moment won't keep.
All the gifts that Heaven has given
Every blessing that's come my way.
Wouldn't mean anything without you


So if I only had today.
I'd hold you and listen
I'd memorize every detail of you face.
I'd tell you I loved you over and over
I wouldn't let excuses get in the way.
Then I'd remind you of forever
And how our love would never change.
If I only had today.


There's no time like the present.
Life doesn't come with any guarantees.
The sun will set and time won't wait
So while I have today:
I'll hold you and listen
And I'd let the dishes sit in the sink.
I'll tell you I loved you over and over
And for once I'll just let the phone ring.
Then I'll remind you of forever
And how our love would never change.
If I only had today.